Sunday, May 25, 2008

A New Creed

I read this post last fall and have been thinking about my personal creed ever since. The idea of a personal creed rather than a community creed bumps up against and tussles with my Catholic schooling, my belief of church as community, and my mixed emotions about "cafeteria Christianity". Thus, it's been an incredibly empowering thought, and also an incredibly uncomfortable one.

Sometimes something is said in church that I don't agree with or don't believe. When I went to Catholic school, we were taught that one has to believe the entire creed of a religion in order to belong to that religion (along the lines of the people with bumper stickers that read "You can't be a Catholic and be for abortion."); rejecting one single aspect of a religious group meant you rejected the entire religion. When you're thirteen (or thirty), this is horrifyingly scary because it means that your inability to wrap your mind around the Trinity means you've rejected the entire Church and are therefore going to Hell.

Though I'm far more liberal with what I accept in my religious repertoire these days, I'm still acutely uncomfortable when something said in church doesn't jibe with me, particularly if the something comes from the Book of Worship or from a sermon. In many ways, it's more difficult to reject a tenet of belief than to accept it. Rejection seems more final and divisive, especially when you're surrounded by people who at least outwardly accept the thing you cannot.

Thus, it's empowering and comforting to be able to think, "I don't believe that." It gives a person control over her/his own belief system. Instead of being wracked with guilt, it allows for the fact that belief cannot be forced. Since I've begun thinking about my personal creed, I'm always mentally adding to it or deleting from it. Instead of blindly accepting certain articles of faith, the idea of having my own creed has made me think through them more deeply. The result is that the things I believe are on a firmer foundation because, in giving myself more permission to wrestle with them, I've thought them through.

The idea of a personal creed is uncomfortable at times. How deeply can a person get involved in her/his personal belief system? If a creed is completely personal, what's the point of being involved with a community at all? When does rejecting a belief distance a person from her/his faith community? Does the ability to reject something as "not what I believe" close the door to discussion and furthered understanding? And is there a danger that having a personal creed prevents wrestling with difficult ideas and articles of faith but instead allows for simple rejection of things that are difficult or uncomfortable?

One thing I dislike about a lot of modern religious movements is the emphasis on a "personal God". Instead of working in community, a lot of people are hung up on their own private relationships with God, which I think detracts greatly from the communal aspects and benefits of religion. So there must be a point where ones' personal creed goes too far, where it puts up more walls than it brings down. The trouble is finding that point.